he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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