he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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