I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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