If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
