Don't you send me to vm
there's paper in my vomit.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
