so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
