You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
