Porn is love you can see.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
