thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
