i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
