I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize