There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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