I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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