Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
