NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
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