her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
