You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
