He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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