So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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