ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
