In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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