it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
