Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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