Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
