OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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