well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
