Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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