Ketchup is God's man juice
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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