i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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