i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
