just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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