All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I lost the right to judge tonight
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
