Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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