I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so let's talk penis.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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