1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
