She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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