'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
