You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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