someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
