I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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