Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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