I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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