Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
