Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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