I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
