for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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