Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
