I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
