Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
