5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
