Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
