I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
