shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
