it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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