There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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