if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
