Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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