Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Randomize
